


but it's cold

by far2late



Series: ilomilo [6]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Abuse, Aftermath of Torture, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst/Comfort, Animal Death, Bad Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Child Abuse, Comfort, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kidnapping, Lonely Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Murder, Muzzles, Protective TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Ranboo Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Sadism, Self-Harm, Self-Mutilation, Serious Injuries, Stabbing, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Torture, Traitor Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Trauma, Villain Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), psychological abuse, triggering content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:55:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29600007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/far2late/pseuds/far2late
Summary: "So when Ranboo had been in his panic room, everything he knew crumbling around him and all his pain coming to a fast and sharp point that made him feel like he was dying, what else could he do but trust Phil? Phil, who he owed a favour and had trusted with his life. Phil, who he knew would be there for him should he need help, despite his insistence that he didn’t want to overstep. Phil, who had argued against his words and asked him to come to the tundra with him despite it all.Ranboo had no reason not to trust him, and for that, he suffered."ortechno and phil are a lot more bitter about the butcher army than assumed. ranboo falls victim to this oversight.
Relationships: Ranboo & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: ilomilo [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2095689
Comments: 73
Kudos: 834
Collections: Completed stories I've read, best smp stories





	but it's cold

**Author's Note:**

> twt is @far2early, read thru the tags carefully and extensively, a lot of this can be triggering

In a perfect world, Ranboo would have had the opportunity to find a new home with Phil after the destruction that was Doomsday. He would have found himself making a small shack in the tundra and grown fond of his neighbours, who in turn, would have grown protective of him in the process. There would have been a house standing in the nook of a mountain and pets that would dot the grounds and new friendships built off of trust. 

In the real world, Techno wasn’t as keen to forgive the Butcher Army as he had first made it out to be. Neither was Phil, though Ranboo hadn’t been aware of that. Techno giving him back his memory book was something that he had seen as confirmation that there was no bad blood between the two of them. It was important enough that Ranboo didn’t think to examine the rest of his behaviour, how his eyes hardened when he left, how Phil didn’t seem very happy to see him amid the L’manberg citizens. 

So when Ranboo had been in his panic room, everything he knew crumbling around him and all his pain coming to a fast and sharp point that made him feel like he was dying, what else could he do  _ but  _ trust Phil? Phil, who he owed a favour and had trusted with his life. Phil, who he knew would be there for him should he need help, despite his insistence that he didn’t want to overstep. Phil, who had argued against his words and asked him to come to the tundra with him despite it all. 

Ranboo had no reason not to trust him, and for that, he suffered. 

When the man had come to help Ranboo at first, the teen was sitting on the stairs that led down to the crater that had been L’manberg. It had been raining and he had been curled up under his armour, not caring for the water that dotted his face and burned it slowly. The quiet noise of sizzling had been something to distract Ranboo, make him feel a bit better where his mind had been spinning in circles and on the edge of spiralling off into even more delusions. 

Ranboo fiddled with the journal in his lap, feeling as though he was far, far away from himself. He felt a bit as though he was stuck in someone else’s body, watching someone puppeteer him in a way that vaguely resembled him. Ranboo wished that he had some sort of control over his body besides just vague suggestions, but as he saw Phil approaching in the skies, he felt a bit of hope warm him, hoping that the man would help him in his struggle. 

The teen didn’t move as Phil landed next to him, shuddering as a chill spread through his body as the man stepped forward. He put a hand on Ranboo’s shoulder, leaning over to look over at the side of his face. Ranboo’s eyes were blank, staring into nothing as Phil frowned slightly. 

“You okay, mate?” He asked, voice low and holding a tone to it that Ranboo didn’t recognize. Ranboo didn’t answer, trying to force his mouth open and finding that he couldn't speak in general. It was like his body was forcing him to shut down as a result of his near-meltdown in the panic room. He was still going into something of a downward spiral as Ranboo tried his best not to just pass out where he sat by Phil’s feet. 

“Ranboo?” The man shook him a little, as though he were a ragdoll. Ranboo lifted his head slightly, opening his mouth to try and say something before it came out as something close to a choked-out whine. To Ranboo’s surprise, the man didn’t seem concerned. Instead, he narrowed his eyes and sighed, sounding close to frustrated. 

“I can’t deal with this right now,” He muttered under his breath, pulling Ranboo up to his feet as the teen stumbled. He finally snapped back into himself, eyes clearing as Ranboo blinked rapidly, looking at Phil with something close to concern. He shook his head, pulling back from the man weakly before freezing as he put a hand on the Netherite sword in his belt. It was then that Ranboo noticed the Totem of Undying he held in his other hand. 

Ranboo gulped, looking at the hand that was so tight around his upper arm that he could almost feel the man trying to squeeze it off of his body. “Phil, what’s- What are you… I don’t understand, I-” 

The man cut him off by tugging him towards him, something close to rage in his eyes as he put the Totem away to pull out his sword. Phil looked frightening at that moment, someone that Ranboo saw less of a friend and more of an enemy that wouldn’t hesitate to kill him. He got his answer as the man hissed under his breath. 

“You’re going to act like nothing’s wrong and come with me to the Nether where no one can see us, and then you’re going to follow me, or I’ll put this sword through your stomach and make it  _ hurt. _ ” Ranboo’s eyes widened at the threat, mouth falling open as Phil shook him once, eyes growing darker, if possible. 

“Understand?” He asked again, sounding like less of a question and more of a threat. Ranboo nodded rapidly, gulping back whatever he was going to say and taking in a shuddering breath. The man nodded in response, dragging him along as he quickly turned to leave the bombarded country. There was a pit of dread growing in the hybrid’s stomach as he made his way through the streets, trying to look leisurely. Phil was doing a good enough job himself, making his way to the portal by the Community House. 

They came to something of a sudden stop as they came across Tubbo and Quackity, both deliberating something as they sat at the edge of the Community House, feet overhanging the water as they sat on the little bridge that led up to it. Ranboo froze as Tubbo turned to make eye contact with him, the teen’s eyes widening at the sight. Quackity looked over a moment later, eyes narrowing in a way that made Ranboo flinch back. 

“What, so you’re just going with him? With the guy that blew up our country?” Quackity snarled, Tubbo saying nothing as a small frown grew on his face. Ranboo curled back from the teen, not wanting to face him. Phil’s forboding presence next to him made him want to curl up and die, either way, finding no easy way out of this situation. 

“You’ll stay away from us or we’ll teach you another lesson,” Phil answered for him, voice dark as he gestured with his shining Netherite sword, a swoop of magic going through the air as he lifted it up and pointed it at Quackity. The teen seemed to get more annoyed at the words, though annoyed was a bit of an understatement. Maybe something close to malice, or pure hatred. All the emotions that had been swirling in him made him near-numb to what was going on, merely stumbling after Phil with shaking hands. 

“You fucking coward!” Quackity screeched after him, Ranboo tripping on the Blackstone stairs as he heard the teen’s fading words after him. “You spew all this shit about sides and go with the people who fucking blew it up! Fucking bitch! Don’t you  _ ever  _ fucking come back here you  _ motherfucker _ ! You take one fucking step near either of us and I’ll fucking kill you! I’ll kill you, you little bitch!” 

Ranboo got pulled into the portal by Phil as he froze up, stumbling into him. Phil pushed him away from him a bit more, nothing showing in his eyes as the violet folds of the portal pulled him into the Nether with a swirling turn of magic. Ranboo felt nauseous as he made his way into the other side, though it wasn’t because of the dimensional travel. 

He leaned over the Blackstone bridge, stumbling to his knees and retching. Ranboo shut his eyes as he emptied his stomach, tears burning in his eyes as Phil sighed behind him. As he finally came to a stop, he opened his eyes, panting over a lava lake as he gulped back another fit of vomiting. Phil’s hand rested on his shoulder, and Ranboo wished for a moment that it was a gentle one before he was pulled back violently. 

The teen straightened himself back up again, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Phil held no sympathy in his eyes, shoving the teen forward to the bridge that Ranboo recognized as the one that Tommy had built during his exile. For a moment, he felt a bit of unadulterated panic- Would the man bring him to Tommy’s place of exile and torment him the same way Dream did? Ranboo dragged his feet as he made his way over the cobblestone and obsidian bridge, a silent sigh of relief leaving him as they made a left and onto another cobblestone path. 

Ranboo realized where he was leading him as the man had made his way to a portal that was hidden from view, panic filling him once more. He pulled back from Phil almost automatically, freezing as he was met with a sword tip at his neck the moment he tried to get away. 

“What are you trying to do?” Phil asked lowly, blue eyes less of a sky blue and more of a dark cerulean that made him want to curl up and ask for forgiveness where he stood. Ranboo shook his head a bit, raising his head as the man tilted his head up with his sword. He gulped minutely, the tip of the sword scraping over his Adam’s apple. 

“I- I didn’t, I…” Ranboo trailed off, eyes flicking to the lava lake below them. Phil seemed to follow his eye line, something of a bitter smile growing on his face. He laughed a little, Ranboo frowning at the sound.

“Go ahead then, do it. Jump off! It won’t do you any good, Ranboo,” Phil said, amused. “You know what’ll happen when you do?” The man took a step forward, Ranboo reflexively taking a step back as he progressed forward. 

“You’ll fall into the lava.” A step forward. 

“Your stuff will all burn.” Ranboo took a step backwards. 

“You’ll be back at spawn with nothing.” Another step forward. 

“You’ll try and ask for help and Quackity will chase you away. Tubbo will try to kill you. Tommy will, too.” A hand was fisted into the front of his shirt, a quiet whimper escaping Ranboo as Phil made eye contact with him. 

“And then I will hunt you down and make it even more painful for you than what I had planned.” Ranboo took a shuddering breath in, a hand curling around Phil’s wrist as he was on the edge, heels almost falling off the netherrack. 

“Do you want to play hunter and prey, Ranboo?” Phil asked, voice barely a breath. The teen shook his head rapidly, trying his best to get away from the edge. Phil regarded him with cold eyes and pulled him away from the edge, scoffing slightly. 

“Pathetic.” Ranboo shuddered at the words, following after Phil with a jerk as the man tugged at his tie. He looked at it with something close to dark amusement, laughing to himself in the way that was familiar from when he had been stuck in lava, looking for help. Back then, it was something comforting, but now, it had brought nothing but a chill up his spine. 

“Kinda like a dog on a leash, huh?” He asked, amused. Ranboo avoided his eyes as the man pulled them into the Nether portal. The teen swallowed back the urge to throw up again, blinking rapidly as he was greeted with bright white snow and gray skies after the dark and gloom of the Nether. 

Phil put a hand on his shoulder and forced him to his knees as soon as he was able, Ranboo still recovering from the dizziness that came with going through portals. The teen looked up in confusion as Phil pulled something out of the bag he had, hand rooting through it before he finally pulled out what looked like a pair of cuffs. 

Ranboo’s eyes widened, ready to scramble back if it weren’t for the threat Phil had made earlier keeping him from moving. The man hummed in approval as he didn’t try to run, instead opting to let the man cuff his hands in front of him after stripping him of his armour and weapons. They all laid in a pile in the snow in front of him, the teen feeling tears fill his eyes. 

Phil seemed to have noticed as he was tightening the cuffs around his wrists. He seemed less amused by this, frowning in something close to anger instead. 

“Oh, are you sad? Are you sad that someone’s forcing you away from your home when you tried to be peaceful? Are you sad they tied you up and stole your things and armour and threatened you? Is that something that would upset you?” Ranboo’s eyes widened as realization set in his mind, shaking his head a bit as the man left his hands cuffed in front of him, looking through his bag once more. 

“I really didn’t mean- I didn’t want to, I thought it- I thought there would be a trial, I didn’t know, I- Please, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Phil, please-” 

“Shut up.” Ranboo’s mouth shut with a click, gulping nervously as he stayed silent, tremors overtaking all of his body. Phil pulled something metal out of his bag, Ranboo not recognizing it. The man looked at him with half-open eyes, clearly considering something before he moved and suddenly, Ranboo felt a fist meet his stomach. The teen gasped, mouth opening as something was slotted inside of it. 

He felt metal on his tongue before it started digging into his cheeks and mouth. Ranboo felt straps around his face and his eyes widened in realization. He shook his head as Phil tried to fasten the straps behind his head, fighting against the man’s hold before Phil had managed to fix the muzzle in place. 

It was something inhumane, humiliating. Being treated as though he were an upset dog rather than a human who could think and feel brought back memories he could barely remember. Ranboo felt like crying where he sat, his breath catching in his throat as it became harder for him to get air. 

Ranboo looked up with watery eyes, the man regarding him with no sympathy. He grabbed the chain that connected both of his cuffs, tugging him to his feet as Ranboo stumbled over the tools he left on the ground. Phil looked at the shiny netherite and let go of the chain for a moment, reaching for the tools to put them away in his bag. 

Ranboo didn’t dare move, not wanting to risk pissing Phil off as he collected his things. The teen felt tears finally make their way down his cheeks, the combined feeling of his wrists cuffed, his tongue pushed down with a metal bit, and feeling like an animal broke him, choking back sobs as he tried to breathe through his nose. 

His vision started flickering out as panic engulfed him, the teen falling to his knees with his eyes rolling back in his head as Phil turned back to him. 

* * *

When Ranboo awoke, it was to a boot to his stomach and a panicked gasp of air that left him with little to no oxygen in his lungs. The muzzle muffled his gasp and he had to breathe rapidly through his nose to get his little oxygen back. Ranboo looked up through bleary, sleep-addled eyes as he made an attempt to look up at who kicked him. He wasn’t that surprised to be greeted with Phil once more, standing over him with his arms crossed. 

His eyes widened a bit, scrambling back to sit up and press his back against the wall. He didn’t focus on what Phil was saying, registering where he was. He found himself surrounded by obsidian, in every direction. Ranboo shook where he sat, memories of the panic room and Dream’s voice and unadulterated fear and pain filling him the moment he saw the walls. Ranboo took in a deep breath through his nose as he tried to stop himself from spiralling. 

The teen shook his head violently when a hand touched his shoulder, small whines coming out of his mouth through the muzzle. Ranboo felt his head go light as he tried to breathe through the muzzle once more, getting snapped out of his stupor after someone hit the side of his face multiple times. 

Through blurry vision, he could see Phil’s face in front of him, his mind working to twist it into that of Dream’s instead. Ranboo shook his head again, trying to pull away from the man and kicked his feet against the obsidian floors. He could just barely register that the man was saying something, but he couldn’t focus, he wouldn’t, he refused to listen to what Dream would say to him and- 

Ranboo gasped for breath as the muzzle was pulled off of his face, hands clawing at his face with the limited range he had. The teen tried to calm down, claws running down his cheeks before he finally got some sort of control over his breathing. Ranboo’s gaze swung up, meeting Phil’s eyes. He hoped for just a moment that the man had some form of sympathy for him, but it was quickly squashed as he started speaking a moment later. 

“This is a bit of a pathetic sight,” Phil hummed, sounding a bit amused. Ranboo curled back at the sound of his voice, finding himself intimidated by it in a way he didn’t understand. Phil kicked at the ground a little, pacing the small room. As he did so, Ranboo realized that it was bigger than his panic room, but still something that would make him feel claustrophobic the longer he stayed in it. 

“You’ll be here for a while, so you might as well make yourself comfortable. Those episodes certainly won’t help you get out any time soon,” Phil said flippantly, the words a stab to the hybrid’s heart. Ranboo swallowed quietly, wetting his lips before speaking. 

“How long… How long will I be- Be here?” He asked, words breathless as he swallowed back panic as the man glared at him intensely. 

“As long as Techno and I please.” Ranboo’s eyes widened a little at the name, fiddling with his fingers as he shuffled into a corner slowly. 

“Techno?” He asked, voice shaky as he said the man’s name. Phil nodded as a response, uncrossing his arms to crouch in front of Ranboo, who cowered back from the man. 

“Mhm,” He said as a response, reaching out a hand to rest it on his shoulder. “He’s the one you wronged, after all. Did you think he wouldn’t have a hand in this?” 

Ranboo could barely bring himself to breathe, let alone speak as Phil moved his hand to pat the side of his face gently, gulping quietly as he tried not to let his panic show in front of the man. It was a bit useless, considering he had already panicked in front of him. 

“Now, I’ll be nice, yeah? You can stay here without the muzzle. But if you act up…” Phil trailed off, standing up from where he stood. Ranboo’s eyes followed him, not making a move to do anything as the man left the small obsidian cell. Phil never finished his sentence, and as the door shut to leave him in complete darkness, he felt more terrified than he ever had in his life. 

He looked around the small room, eyebrows furrowing as he made an effort not to focus on the obvious that made him want to die rather than be stuck in the box he was. Ranboo was beginning to regret not just jumping into lava the moment Phil threatened him, or just trying to fight him. The logical part of him knew that it would be stupid to fight someone who had blown up a country and also had a Totem of Undying, but Ranboo felt a bit upset about folding over so easily when he had been stacked out in Netherite. 

It might have been his quiet pain that he had been so easily shunned by people he had trusted so dearly. Ranboo had so much faith in Tubbo and Fundy and L’manberg, but it was hard for him to recognize that he had betrayed their trust. Either that or recognize how easy it was for him to be thrown away like trash the moment he made a mistake. Ranboo wasn’t used to their harsh policies, unused to people who had been hardened by war. 

He had a hard time in the past, he just barely remembered that. No one got out of Hypixel unscarred, not even as a visitor. Ranboo had spent the better part of his year in Hypixel, he wasn’t unused to violence. He had been one of the top competitors and one of the only people who had been a hybrid and struggled his way to the top. Ranboo knew that he was a bar above the rest and his life wasn’t normal, but the teen wasn’t used to anything close to war and politics. 

Maybe this was a good sign that he never should have gotten involved with the people he had, never should have come to the country in the first place. He should have stayed out and happy and somewhere where he wouldn’t be a hostage. Ranboo didn’t even think he fit the definition of a hostage. More like a prisoner of war. Or an idiot who let himself get caught somewhere he would have never been otherwise. 

Ranboo let his head tilt back and hit the wall with a quiet thump, sniffing quietly as he did his best not to cry in the small obsidian box. Which would be his home for the considerable future. He shook his head sharply, trying to ignore something screaming in the back of his head for attention. He would need to save his energy to make it through whatever he would have to deal with under Phil and Techno’s watch. 

* * *

It took about two days for Ranboo to realize when he had dropped everything in front of Phil by the Nether portal, he had dropped his memory journal along with it. 

The immediate panic that engulfed him at the thought was easier to work through without the muzzle over his lips, but it was still hard for him to fix himself up to the point where he was able to breathe properly again. Ranboo hadn’t been the biggest fan of people looking at his memory book, let alone taking it. Dream stealing the journal had already been something that made him want to die on the spot, especially with how he knew the man would have read through his darkest secrets. 

It was something nightmarish to be in the situation he was now, alone and unarmed, weak and defenceless while his enemies, his captors, had something that held all his deepest thoughts. It didn’t matter that Tubbo had read it over now, just the primal fear that came with being exposed to his enemies. It was practically laying out his weaknesses for them to take advantage of. Ranboo didn’t want them to have it for a second, he would rather burn the book than let them get anywhere near it. 

Ranboo knew that there were pages in it that no one had seen, pages in it from his mental breakdown in his panic room over Dream’s voice that he didn’t want them to see, didn’t want them to use against him. It was something evil, something that made him want to die more than he ever did in his life. 

Maybe it was fatalistic of him to think like that, something that was bad for his health and something that was supposed to be the last thing he ever wanted. But just sitting alone in a dark room for ages without food or water was enough for anyone to want to get out of that situation. He certainly hadn’t been in the room long enough to constitute those thoughts, at least in his mind, but the teen was at the end of his rope ages ago. 

He was at the end of his rope when he had been dragged into the festival preparations when he had been trying desperately to get his pets to safety. Ranboo’s heart clenched when he realized that his pets would be left defenceless by the shore, even though he knew the mobs wouldn't attack them. It was just the principal, thinking of them waiting for him back at the panic room for him to ask for food or water or anything to keep them alive. 

Ranboo humoured the thought of asking Phil to take care of his pets for him, but he knew that the man wouldn’t do anything for him. They would probably end up left alone either way, Phil ignoring his pleads and the man simply leaving them to die. He had better chances with Techno, he hoped. The hybrid hadn’t come around to visit him yet, and maybe when he did, he would be more willing to listen to him than Phil was. It was just a hope, however, and he knew that it wasn’t anything solid. Despite that, it was the only thing that had motivated him to stay awake and alert in the room rather than passing out and sleeping the whole way through. 

He couldn't sleep through all of it, to be fair, but he knew that he would probably pass out from panicking should he be set off and manage to force himself into sleep for more than a couple of hours. Maybe a day if he was lucky. The teen wasn’t interested in counting down his suffering through days, it would feel a bit too pessimistic for him. Ranboo wasn’t one to try and elongate his suffering, despite how he refused to reach out for help. 

Maybe if he had his comm, he would have considered calling Tubbo for help. Even if the teen would kill him on sight. 

Ranboo didn’t startle as much as he did last time, but he still flinched as the light shone on his face from the sudden burst of it when the door swung open. The teen lifted his hands up to guard his face, cuffs clinking against each other in an attempt for him to cover his face. Maybe if they didn’t see his face, he didn’t exist, he thought in a juvenile way. 

His hypothesis was proven wrong when someone grabbed at his arm, forcing it down and shoving something in his hands. Ranboo flinched back at the sudden grab of his limbs, the teen looking up with a blink to see Techno, standing over him with a blank face. He looked back to his hands to see a loaf of bread, eyes widening before he took a bite out of it swallowing back the first bit and realizing just how hungry he had become over the past two days. 

Ranboo ate through it quickly, ignoring Techno standing above him as his pointed teeth bit into the loaf. It was clear that he was more suited for meat and golden foot than grains and vegetables, but Ranboo didn’t want to say anything. He didn’t want to push his limits and force Techno’s hand in whatever he had planned. 

His thoughts from earlier flashed in his mind, for a moment, and Ranboo hesitated for a moment before speaking. 

“Do you… Can I ask you something?” He asked, his voice dry. Ranboo flinched as Techno looked down at him. He looked so much more intimidating with the light pushing against his back and defining him. After a nod, Ranboo took in a deep shuddering breath before speaking up, voice shaking. 

“I- I left my pets, um, my dog. And my cats, back near the shore of… Well, what used to be L’manberg. Can you- You don’t have to take care of them, I don’t- just make sure they don’t die?” Ranboo’s voice cracked at the last word, though he didn’t feel like crying at the time. Techno didn’t say much, still silent before he grunted once. Ranboo couldn’t figure out what it meant, but he hoped it was something good. 

“Thank you,” Ranboo whispered as he left, not wanting to say much more in case he got angry. The loaf of bread that he ate had left him hungrier than he had been before, but Ranboo was glad he got something nonetheless. Techno grunted again, but Ranboo didn’t reply, curling back up in his corner, arms wrapped around his legs. 

* * *

Ranboo was dragged out of the room a few days later, being jolted into wakefulness by the feeling of someone dragging him by his hair and arms. He yelped at the feeling, only to realize that the muzzle from earlier was back, fastened on too tightly for him. He whined at the pain, trying to blink through the sleep in his eyes as he tried his best not to choke in an attempt to see what was going on. 

He was pulled up a flight of stairs, unable to see where he was coming from in a blur of colours, a weakness that he certainly didn’t feel before, and a non-stop, stabbing pain all throughout his body that nearly made him throw up. Ranboo finally slumped over when he was dragged into the snow and thrown out of the doors of what he assumed was Techno’s house, 

He let out a moan of pain as he was jolted up by the hair, hands falling limp in front of him as he tried to figure out what was going on. The teen tried to move, finding himself with a foot to the back of his knee that forced him to slump over, shins cold against the snow as he ignored the way he wanted to throw up. He swallowed back the bit of vomit in his throat as he tried his best to see what was around him. 

Ranboo saw nothing but snow all around him, two spots of black in front of him as the teen coughed through the muzzle, nearly gagging as the metal bit pushed down on his tongue more. As his vision slowly focused, he realized that Techno and Phil were both there, the first time he had seen the pair of them together since he had been brought there. 

The past few weeks, or days, or month, however long it had been, both Phil and Techno took alternating turns coming to the room and tormenting him in some way. Techno would give him nothing but raw potatoes to bite through, the teen getting sick and throwing up in the corner of his cell and leading him to eat half of one before he gave up for the day. Phil would come in every now and then, scolding him for the vomit and berating him for things he didn’t even remember doing. 

Every now and then, the man would even come in with his memory journal, reading some of the later pages back to him while Dream’s voice echoed through his ears and he broke down into screaming and crying, tormented by his thoughts and what he had done. The voice that echoed through his head was enough to make him cry, but Phil’s added presence was something that brought it into the real world, something that made him realize that the voice could be real. 

It was something he wasn’t sure if Phil was aware he was doing, but he knew the man didn’t care when he would leave Ranboo in the room by himself, screaming and clawing at himself and bruising his wrists as blood ran down his arms. Techno would come and check him out afterwards every now and then, and Ranboo wouldn’t react as the man wiped his arms of blood and cleaned the vomit in the corner. 

The teen would just stare blankly away from the man as he did his best to pretend he wasn’t there, pretend that no one would be watching him in the room while he slowly lost his mind in isolation and constant assault from Phil. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t physical- it was always enough to send him into a fit or breakdown, and that would always hurt him more than Phil ever could physically. 

He was starting to see things jumping in the shadows at him, creatures moving and lurking. It was horrifying when he could hear Dream’s voice in his mind, whispering to him as something close to him would grow in the corner of the obsidian room. That would leave Ranboo into another panicked fit of screaming that would leave him exhausted by the end, passing out. 

Ranboo would have accepted death a lot sooner than endure any of this. He wasn’t sure it was an option anymore, and he was too scared to do it himself, so the teen suffered under Techno’s house as Phil and the hybrid pretended that nothing was happening. The teen hoped that someone had been looking for him, but he knew the chances of that would be slim to none. 

Which is why he didn’t know why he was outside now, in the clear where anyone could see him. He blinked until his vision cleared and saw that besides Techno and Phil, his pets were in front of him. Alive and well, Enderchest and Enderpearl meowing softly while Dogboo was wagging his tail in the snow, laid in it as though it were second nature. 

Ranboo tried to say something, gagging at the metal bit on his tongue before he looked at Techno, begging for something even close to answers. The man looked away, face blank though Ranboo saw him clench his fist by his side. Ranboo got his hair tugged by Phil, the man turning his head to face him. 

“I heard you asked Techno to do something for you, Ranboo,” He hummed happily, Ranboo feeling his heart sink in his chest. He didn’t want to know where this was going, he didn’t want to know what Phil thought, but he knew the man would let him know. 

“Isn’t that funny? Trying to kill him just four months ago and now you’re here. Asking him for things, like he’s some errand boy for you to boss around. Do you think you have some sort of authority here, Ranboo?” His eyes widened, the teen shaking his head rapidly before his hair was tugged once more, bringing him to a quick stop. 

“I want you to do something for me, okay?” Phil asked, patting the side of his face gently as his voice softened. Ranboo didn’t lower his guard for a moment, though he tried to gulp through a panicked gasp that would never leave his mouth. Ranboo turned to face his pets as Phil tilted his head towards them, letting go of his hair and leaving it messy and greasy and bloodstained from when he strung bloodied fingers through it after one too many breakdowns in the obsidian cell 

“I want you to kill them. Or I’ll make it hurt more than anything merciful that you’ll ever do.” Ranboo froze at the words, eyes widening to such an extent that he felt as though they would pop out of his sockets if he was hit too hard on the back. Immediately after, he tried to protest, tears running down his cheeks uselessly as the teen tugged at the cuffs in front of him, clawing at the muzzle on his face as he repeatedly said  _ ‘No, no please, no, don’t make me please, no, no no, hurt me instead, please-’  _ but Phil paid no mind, arms crossed in front of him. 

“Ten,” Phil said suddenly, cutting off Ranboo’s panic as he tried his best to breathe through the muzzle. Ranboo’s head snapped to him with new panic lighting in his eyes as the man dropped a dagger in the snow in front of them, shaking his head again. 

“Nine.” He let out a pained-sounding scream, Techno visibly wincing at the sound as Phil stayed stonily neutral, stepping forward to the three pets. Ranboo reached out to try and grab at Phil to make him stop, but the thorns from his armour made his palms sting. 

“Eight.” Ranboo sobbed as his face burned at the tears that fell down them, shaking his head rapidly as the teen shuffled forward. He opened his arms as much as he could, which wasn’t very far, and let Enderchest jump in his arms, crying into her head as the cat cuddled into his arms. 

“Seven.” The other two pets made their way to him as he cried into Enderchests head, Enderpearl climbing up his torn-up dress-shirt and clinging to his shoulders as she rested her head on his while Dogboo licked at his face uselessly, trying to wipe away tears. Ranboo didn’t even care that Dogboo was hurting him more, refusing to accept what Phil was making him do. 

“Six.” Ranboo didn’t want any of them to hurt when they died. They were supposed to die of old age or not at all, he didn’t want to have them suffer when they were dying. He would rather die than let that happen, but there was no choice in the matter. Phil would just drag out their deaths if he didn’t, and he needed to help them before the man got the chance to put his hands on them. 

“Five.” Ranboo sniffed, shuddering with a cry as he leaned away from the group of them. He reached for the dagger that Phil had dropped on the ground for him. Ranboo examined it and found it to be iron, enchanted to be sharper and hit harder than before. His vision blurred as he realized that it would make their deaths a bit faster, at the most. 

“Four.” He ran a hand over Enderchest’s back numbly, feeling something in him break as he heard the cat purr quietly. His tail curled around Ranboo’s wrist as the teen pet him and he felt a paw on his face after he squeezed his eyes shut. Ranboo felt a nose pressed against his and he nearly sobbed again before he hugged the cat closer to him, eyesight blurring. 

“Three.” With a shaky hand, he ran his fingers through Enderchest’s fur, finding his hand at the base of the cat’s neck. Ranboo rubbed over the spot slowly, hoping that somehow Enderchest would fall asleep before he had to… had to… 

“Two.” Ranboo let out a sob as he shut his eyes tight and hugged Enderchest close to him, revelling in the feeling of the small warm body against his and the thrum of a heartbeat in one of his only friend’s chests. Ranboo sucked in a sharp breath through his nose in a want to ignore reality, but he knew he couldn’t. 

“One.” 

Ranboo’s hands shook before he plunged the dagger into the back of Enderchest’s neck, silent sobs shaking his whole body as the cat squirmed under his hands before going limp. He shuddered as he pulled the dagger out, sucking in more breaths that he knew would never come. Ranboo ignored Phil and Techno as he reached for Dogboo, who seemed confused as he hugged the dog close to him. 

He wished he could apologize, he wished he could say something to him before he went. He wished that he could tell his pets he loved them, he wished he could do something to help them and tell them they’d be okay, but the stupid  _ fucking  _ muzzle he had on stopped him from doing it. All he could do was hope they knew he was helping them, saving them from Phil and whatever he had planned for the poor things. 

His shaky hands pushed the dagger into Dogboo’s neck, whimpering along with his dog as he started to struggle in Ranboo’s arms. Dogboo still didn’t bite at him, not after he pulled the dagger out of his neck and leaned back to cry, not wanting to watch him die. The teen felt his heartbreak even more, if possible, as Dogboo climbed up onto his chest on weak legs and licked at his face more. 

Ranboo cried, he cried until his face was covered with tears and he almost couldn’t anymore. His face burnt more than he ever had in his life and the teen felt white-hot pain jolting through him unnaturally. Ranboo wished he could say something, tell his dog he loved him in his last moments as Dogboo did his best to reassure Ranboo that he still loved the hybrid. 

He was left with nothing but the limp corpse of Enderchest and Dogboo in front of him. He couldn’t bring himself to move, eyes blurring so violently that he couldn’t find it in himself to even reach for Enderpearl afterwards. The teen heard a yowl of anger before it was cut off and found himself numb to the thought that Enderpearl had been killed by Phil, probably. He simply shuddered before curling into himself, grabbing at the dagger that killed his pets to shove it in his stomach. 

Ranboo didn’t listen to Techno and Phil and their panicked voices and Phil’s whispered threats, continuously stabbing himself as they pulled at his hands and got the knife away from him. He was left with three wounds in his abdomen as he coughed up blood. Ranboo didn’t register anything as he was lifted up from under the armpits and dragged into the home, his vision blurring before he passed out. 

* * *

When he awoke in the cell again, he screamed and screamed and screamed until Techno hurried in and gave him a needle and he passed out again. Ranboo thought he had been screaming for twenty minutes before he had been dealt with. He felt dead on the inside. 

* * *

The teen didn’t look up at Phil as the man entered. The moment he opened his mouth to speak, Ranboo lunged at him with sharp claws and sharper teeth, clawing at his face and chest and anything uncovered he could reach until the man slapped him down and kicked him until he was coughing up something dark into his hands. Phil didn’t come to visit for a while after that. 

* * *

The next time Dream’s voice showed up in his head, he let himself succumb to it. He numbly agreed with everything he said and clawed at his wrists uselessly until they bled almost non-stop, opening up scabs and more wounds that he was sure would only serve to hurt him more when he cut them open again. 

* * *

Techno stepped into the room as Ranboo was slumped over on his left side, looking more dead than alive in his basement as the teen let his half-open eyes follow the man. The hybrid knelt down in front of him and uncuffed his hands, pulling him to sit up and gesturing to the open door. He said something as well, and Ranboo was pretty sure he was prompting him to leave. Ranboo looked at him, blinking slowly before he turned away, slipping his hands back into the unlocked cuffs and laid down again, bloodshot eyes open as he tried to sleep. It was a useless activity. 

* * *

Ranboo awoke to a shouting voice as a door swung open nearby him, flinching back from it uselessly as he anticipated Phil’s voice and the violence that would follow it. He was surprised to look up and see someone in a red and white sweater, blond hair cutting through his vision as the room was nearly completely flooded with light. It was more than he was used to and he had to blink in an attempt to see what was going on. 

He was greeted with Tommy’s soft voice, one that he was unused to as the teen knelt down in front of him, carefully trying to sit him up on his knees, or just in general. Ranboo didn’t flinch as Tommy pressed against his bruises, though he did automatically wince. He didn’t seem to notice, Ranboo finally turning back into the one-sided conversation. 

“-Holy shit, what the fuck happened? Are you- What the fuck, is this where you’ve been this whole time? Since Doomsday?” Ranboo nodded weakly at the question, answering automatically as he had been conditioned to by Phil. Tommy hissed at the answer, sucking in a sharp breath before he looked at the cuffs around his wrists. His eyes widened a bit as he saw the state of his forearms. 

“ _ Holy shit, _ ” Tommy breathed, eyes wide as he pulled the cuffs off of Ranboo, the previously too-tight restraints sliding off his wrists easily. Ranboo sniffed as he did so, silent tears falling down his cheeks as he leaned forward to rest his head on Tommy’s shoulder. 

The teen froze up, drawing in a breath as he automatically moved to say something before staying quiet, something that Ranboo was glad for. He didn’t think he could take one more cruel word from anyone. He felt like a sheet of plexiglass one tap away from shattering into millions of pieces that would never be assembled again, only swept into a pile and thrown away. 

Tommy carefully put his arms around Ranboo, pulling him closer and being careful of his shaking arms in an attempt not to brush anything against them. 

“It’s okay, you’re okay now, big man. Tubbo and I are here, it’s okay.” 

Ranboo wished there was a way to say that he didn’t care, but he didn’t have the energy. Instead, he let his eyes fall closed and his body slump against Tommy’s. He didn’t want to do anything anymore. He hoped Tubbo would kill him the moment he saw him and that they would find him after Quackity did so he would be dead before he would be back in this fucking hell hole. 

Instead, Ranboo let out a painful sob, and let himself shatter. 

**Author's Note:**

> man even i feel bad after writing this. i worked on this like all day and speedran the shit out of it. hope u enjoyed the end? 
> 
> and for context, tommy is showing up there because he came to search through technos house for tools to fight dream the next day. yeah. ranboos been there since doomsday to now..... so um,,,,,, do with that info what u will
> 
> i am aware phil is incredibly ooc here i kind of gave up in the end LOL everyone look away look away..... tell me what u think maybe? thanks for reading! 
> 
> <3


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